A week into January 2011, and I finally thought of a New Year's resolution. However, I feel like it's already too late to start, because I didn't resolve it on the 1st. I would tell you what it is, but it's sort of embarrassing and I'm not entirely sure who reads my blog....if anyone....sigh....
haha just kidding. Anyways, I basically have an extremely difficult time a) thinking of resolutions b) remembering to start them on the first, and then c) actually carrying them out for an entire year. The whole process is just incredibly frustrating. If I don't come up with a good resolution, I look around at all the other ambitious resolution-makers and feel ashamed. If I actually do think of a resolution, but then try for several weeks to maintain said resolution and fail, I feel even more depressed. It's like a cycle of never-ending failure and sadness and doom.
So, for many years, I have completely ignored this tradition and don't even bother with New Year's resolutions. Heck, I usually don't even stay awake until midnight! That's a whole other story though :) However, this year, I found myself once again thinking "I've got to have a New Year's resolution". But - as I mentioned earlier, it wasn't until today that I actually thought of one that I deemed acceptable, and now it's too late.
As I pondered what to do, I came to several important conclusions. I'll even number them for you. How nice am I??
*NOTE: these are based upon the assumption that you are making a serious resolution, not something like "Oh, I'm not going to eat Taco Bell for a whole year".
1. Basically, I believe that people are setting themselves up to fail from the very beginning. For me, when I commit to a major change like a resolution can be, I do it out of heart that truly wants to change and needs God's help to do so. I feel like when people make "change" resolutions, they first of all wait for January, which means that it's not important enough to them to start right away, which I believe indicates a lack of motivation. True change can only be brought about by a repentant heart, and if that needs to happen, why wait for a holiday to commit?
2. That conclusion inevitably leads me to believe that new year's resolutions are somewhat hindering to true resolutions. Not only do they encourage people to put off a change until the new year, but they also make people feel guilt when they end up breaking the resolution sometime in July. True change often requires several attempts and failures to bring about the desired result, and new years resolutions do not allow for this with their seemingly perfect standards. If you break the resolution once, you're done for that year...oh well, gotta wait 'til January again. It destroys the point of making a resolution.
3. Finally, I feel like most people tell their New Year's resolutions to all their friends, which, while it makes for a good conversation, can lead to pride and ruins the whole resolution process. For instance, if I make a resolution to read my Bible every day, I should do it out of a heart that wants to love and serve God and spend time in His word. This is a resolution that is so important it should start TODAY, any day, with no need to wait. However, if I make it as a New Year's resolution and tell all my friends "I'm going to read my Bible EVERY day!!" It makes it something that I have to keep up so that others will think highly of me and it becomes less and less about God.
Don't get me wrong, resolutions are great and should definitely be made when needed. But don't make them with the wrong attitude or intentions. Personally, New Year's resolutions tend to trap me with guilt and I feel like I do much better when I make an honest resolution when I see a need to change, not when I'm wracking my brains for something good that I can brag about to all my friends on January 1st.
So in conclusion, I would just like to say that I actually used my blog to blog....which is a first! It could happen more often, if anyone is interested in the random musings of my brain. I believe artwork is easier and quicker to look at though, so that's probably more of what I'll be posting this year. I hope (and no, this is not necessarily a resolution!! hah) that I will be able to blog a lot more and keep things rolling here. I'd eventually like to get a portfolio up and stuff like that. So stay tuned!
Love,
Melody
